I was really upset last week at TOPS. I gained again for the second week in a row which brings my 2 week gain up to 3.1 lbs and my weight back up to 241.1. I vowed to do better this week and I kept my food diary maybe 2 days so far since last Thursday and on those days I went way over my target calorie intake. It finally hit me last night, I’m going through a bit of depression and I need to snap out of it.
One thing that I’m sure has me depressed is my health. First I was having pain in my right lower back/hip area that’s spread around to the side and front. Orthopedic doc says it’s my sacroiliac joint and after a steroid injection he sent me for 2 lumbar epidurals. They really haven’t gotten rid of the pain and I was scheduled for a 3rd epidural last Friday but I cancelled. My PCP thought I might have a kidney stone which caused the pain but a CT-Scan showed no stone but I did have a 5.5cm cyst on my right ovary (at least that’s what the nurse told me). After having an ultrasound and seeing my gynecologist yesterday I was told the cyst is on my left ovary and was not causing my pain. We’re treating the cyst with a shot of progesterone to try to dissolve it and follow-up ultrasound in 6 weeks. The gyne did suggest physical therapy for my pain though. I did a search last night and found 3 exercises to do at home for sacroilitis and also have a call into the otrho to see if I might be able to do some PT or at least get some exercises to do at home. I also asked Don to let me start doing things around the house again. He’s been so good and is afraid of me hurting that he won’t let me do anything. I could understand that in the beginning when i couldn’t even walk 10-15 feet from the office to the bathroom without holding the walls and crying but I’m able to walk farther now and folding laundry isn’t going to hurt me. I really thing that going back to some normal activities will help my frame of mind.
Another thing I decided to do was get back in touch with God. I’m a Christian (was saved in 1995) and use to have a great prayer life. I’d talk to God and I swear he talked back. I heard him and I felt him. Over the last couple of years I’ve slacked off on my end. I know God’s still there and He hasn’t given up on me, I just haven’t been as available as He’d like me to be. I started this morning with a great conversation with Him and I’m really going to try to get back in the habit of talking to him daily if not multiple times a day.
If you’re looking for a quick low cal meal or side dish I suggest Zataran’s. We always have a few boxes of assorted Zataran’s flavors in the cabinet and the other night had some grilled chicken breasts and but into bite size pieces. Added it to a box of Zataran’s Cheddar Broccoli Rice and we had a dish that was under 300 calories per serving. I even took the easy route with the chicken and bought a package of pre-cooked Purdue chicken breasts from the store’s refrigerated section.
On a final note, I hope I don’t have too much of a gain tomorrow from all my eating this week. I know one day of doing good (today) isn’t going to help much but a girl can hope can’t she?